Snow Angel

"Snow Angel" is actually the title of Onegai Teacher's theme song sung by Kotoko. It's one of those soft-themed animes which centers on the universal plot of a simple-turned-complicated love affair. However, since it is anime, it just has more depth, more edge, and more soul that your usual humdrum, shallow collection of telenovelas and blah romance novels.

I chose to name this post Snow Angel just to introduce a sweet little concept that has been floating in my sweet not-so-little mind for eternity. You see, I always have these conversations-turned-arguments with certain people regarding the concept of "love." A friend of mine challeneged me to define "love," something which I refused to do. I told him that defining Love is equivalent to placing parameters on it. In short, you are just limited with whatever definition you choose to give it. I believe this is utter crap since Love is supposed to be unconditional, transcends normal human boundaries, hence indescribable and indefinable. So I told him, "I cannot define it for I am not worthy. Only God could possibly define love. But I am human so though I cannot define Love, I know it because I can feel it...here."

Another time, another friend on the net said that Love is conditional, never unconditional since it is a contract between two persons. I think she was confusing Love with Marriage, the latter being an inviolable social contract. She also said that human love is imperfect that's why it's conditional. How sad. It seems a lot of us think so little of our capacity to love and that whatever we do in this world is just full of imperfections. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We believe we are incapable of giving true and pure love even before we could even try. But how come we think it's so impossible to give a pure and true love? Don't we at least believe in our capacity to dream, to fulfill that dream, and to believe that since there is a Higher Being in this world, we could reach that dream of loving completely?

*Sigh*...sometimes it pains me to know that in this world, there are only few romantic idealists left. Surely, if we just think that all we are capable of giving is an imperfect human love, then there's no reason for us to even try loving at all. I am not saying I'm the only one who knows how to love but I do try to transcend beyond selfish human thinking that you only love if you're loved right back. I have loved so many times, been hurt so many times, but as I matured over the years, I've learned that there is no sweeter, more fulfilling thing than to just love without expecting anything in return. It's like sharing a part of yourself with someone and creating a memory to cherish forever...over time. There's no need for reciprocation...just the realization that you have truly learned to love.

As Takemoto said, "I often wondered if there was any meaning to a failed love. When I fell in love with you, I was truly grateful for I learned that indeed, there was a meaning. Surely...there is." Takemoto loved Hagu but Hagu could not return Takemoto's feelings. However, this did not stop Takemoto from loving her. Hagu, for her part felt that sweet, pure love that was innocent yet passionate, meek yet brave and though she could not return it in the same manner, she cherished all the memories she shared with Takemoto and loved him in her own way. Takemoto was right. There was a meaning to a "failed love." In fact...it was never a "failed love" at all.

Of course, many would still refute all these ideals that I have, but then, remember---these are MY ideals...my DREAMS. I live and breathe them. I am the way I am because I believe in them. I am not saying what I believe in is right or in any way better, but I do know one thing---I am contented with the way I love and the way I am loved back, even if the feelings returned are not in the same level. This means, I am doing something right for myself...and for that other person.

With this little piece of prose, ponder a while on these heartwarming lyrics from Snow Angel. May you have the strength to continue dreaming and loving like the rest of us at Radical Dreamers 2002...

"Two shadows are standing side by side carrying frozen hearts
Our chance meeting in this snow-white world was a miracle
meaning that I'm not alone anymore.
Instead of searching for words
I'm praying to snow angels
In the spinning, starless sky..."